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Solace of the Shadows
Monday, January 26, 2004
Today marked the first day of a new beginning of our final posting, which we'd have to stick to until we ORD. Admittedly i went in feeling rather apprehensive and reluctant but at the end of the day i left feeling satisfied and reassured and i look forward to begin work proper.
Initially as i was walking to the NPC i was still wondering what divisional work would be like and wishing that i was in a more secure and comfortable environment with the rest of my squadmates in PHQ but once i stepped into the familiar grounds of Clementi NPC where i had been during my attachment just last month i began to change my mind. Then i met one of the lady officers i patrolled with whom i think is really pretty and had a comforting chat with her for a while (comforting because i got to see her face again ahaha). So it got me thinking that hey why would i care so much for something which may seem more secure when in actual fact it isn't because after all most (not all) of the morons in the squad are in PHQ and the ones i speak to more are actually either in land divisions themselves or somewhere else. Besides i found myself rather attached and fond of Delta during my one month stint and eventually i started to settle down.
So when my other squadmate Kensuke arrived we went up to find the officer who would brief us and we learnt that there would be two positions up for grabs, namely one staff officer in Head Ops and Training and the other in Head Planning. Later on we were told that the Head Ops wanted to conduct an interview to choose which one of us would be under him. We were also told that the position would be a rather demanding and often tiresome one compared to the other position and that the Head Ops himself is rather strict and possibly difficult to work with so both of us were not very eager to get the post.
When both of us entered the office and greeted the Head Ops i decided that i would downplay to try and lessen my chances of getting the post and i'm sure Ken had the same idea in mind. The following conversation ensued :
Head Ops : Good morning, so i see both of you are A level holders...well i need someone who is good at his writing and conversational skills, i think this is most important. So Jame, could you tell me a little more about your background and profficiency in this area? What did you learn during your training in the academy?
Me : Uhh...quite a bit...it was fulfilling...well i'm alright with writing and speaking but (hastily) nothing much really
Head Ops : Huh? Nothing much? Okayy...well how about you Ken?
Ken : (gives a more impressive answer to my relief)
Head Ops : I see...ok so are both of you headed to Uni after you ORD? Yes? Hmm...are either of you planning to defer your NS to undergo your studies before you ORD?
Ken : Yes Sir, i'll be deferring next year Feb
Head Ops : Ah i see, well that settles it then, i can't have someone deferring it'd be too disruptive. It would seem that the post would then be yours Jame.
Me : Oh..........................ok (inside : !!!!!!!*&%*%@*$$#@%!@!)&@*^#^^% FRRIGGIN *@&%@*%)
Fortunately though, later on i got to know the guys in my office who seemed to be really nice and accomodating people. One of them brought me around the entire NPC to introduce me to the different personnel in the station. The work i'd be involved in and tasked seems to be really quite interesting and it has me eager to begin regardless of whether the workload may be heavy. I shan't divulge too much lest I.S.D is already monitoring this site and is getting ready to kick my ass heh.
Another plus point is the title of my position. As one of my colleagues was briefing me and showing me some stuff he kept referring to this guy called 'H.O.T' being in charge of this or instructions to do that and so i asked him who exactly this 'HOT' person is and he explained 'oh Head Ops and Training lah, our boss, you just had an interview with him remember'. And so it dawned on me later on that if my boss is labelled HOT....and i've been appointed Staff Officer to Head Ops and Training....that would make me SO HOT.
Yes i know, lame, but i couldn't resist haha.
Next time my squadmates ask me : "so which post did you get?"
Reply : "Oh...i'm SO HOT"
So all in all its been a pretty alright day, its satisfying to finally know where things are headed now that we've got our final posting, we can just concentrate on doing our work quietly without having to worry about shifting about anymore all the way until we ORD. Things are beginning to settle down. Then again, it's only been the first day. Who's to know what lies ahead. I'm prepared to be inundated by work soon. Its just the beginning to another end before another beginning.
It's always a cycle.
Well, hope everyone else is fine. Take care folks.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Every day that passes is a new lesson we learn from. Today was a day for a lesson in humility. It seems not everyone took it equally well though.
There are things and people i'm going to miss after leaving the academy. Many things i would want to forget though. But it's done and over with. So simply and rapidly like it never happened.
Some people are so quick to pass caustic or critical comments as if they are so error-free themselves. Like wow, they're the epitome of perfection. It was an honest mistake, never intended to be an ostentatious display. If instructions had come clearer like maybe "half-U with squad t-shirt" i would gladly complied. Oh well.
Town today was absolutely packed with school kids in uniform. I've almost forgotten what that's been like. Time passes really quick. Maybe there should be a class outing where we all wear school uniforms again heh.
I'm pretty glad for my posting i guess. The only factor that bothers me is if i have the opportunity to train. Was hoping to go to PHQ so i can use the gym and pool there once work is done. In Delta, just hope i get fortunate enough to be able to do something about it. I'm really itching to begin training again.
A pretty random day it has been so far.
Dark Tranquillity - The Sun Fired Blanks
Monday, January 19, 2004
Finally had the chance to catch School of Rock after waiting for so long, and it sure didn't disappoint. Jack Black is one guy who really loves his music and i totally share his sentiments, except i'm not that outspoken or animated as he is. It made me remember that while people dream of being doctors or lawyers or bankers, i secretly harboured a dream of being a guitar virtuoso in a metal band, although frankly that has as much chance of becoming reality as cows learning to fly because i can barely strum a guitar without making alot of twanging noises. I tried for a while and gave it up. I'm better off being a metalhead who just listens to the music.
I really hate people who conveniently slam or simply dismiss metal/rock or related forms of music as noise or garbage with no source of melody or musical aesthetics at all. Especially the ones who ignorantly enjoy their cookie-cutter, saccharinely sweet and thickly manufactured radio music. I am not dissing mainstream music at all, i enjoy all kinds of music which may sound good, from any genre (cept techno and the sort, that i really just don't like), its just that my interest lies mainly in metal. Don't criticize metal for being nonsensical and inane simply because you fail to stop and listen to the shrouded lyrics which carry more meaning than your feeble mind can handle. The "noise" you describe metal to be is to me and many others a tapestry of harmonic creation, subtly woven to paint and portray individual tales of intense aggression or melodic architectural pieces of sublimely dark expression. Music is the driving force in some things i do, it is the drug which unleashes latent strength when i need it, and it is a source of inspiration i crave. Thus, a tribute to all the metal brothers out there, including Jack Black a.k.a Tenacious D :
\m/
Saturday, January 10, 2004
I'm already more than halfway through this attachment, and i have to say there are some things i might never have realized had i not been given the privilege of this posting. Currently in Clementi NPC, i think i've seen more than i have throughout the entire attachment so far in the span of 2 days.
Last night was my first time doing plainclothes rounds, where we'd draw the usual equipment including a leg holster. There's something about having a gun tied to your leg under your jeans to make you feel more secure eh. I did rounds with my squadmate and two regular officers. These guys are insane. Insanely experienced and capable. Essentially the purpose of plainclothes rounds is to encounter stuff we wouldn't ordinarily see in uniform and lay ambush.
So basically we decided to go to Clementi Central Macs to looks around. We eventually took a seat beside a group of Malay guys dressed in the usual mat garb complete with accompanying minahs. (One of the minahs happened to be damn pretty) To me they seemed to be engaging in harmless conversation at that point of time until one of the officers messaged me on my handphone telling me that they were having "settlement" talks and one of them was asking another what "number" he was playing. If i weren't with these two guys i would have absolutely no idea what was happening, and several seconds later that feeling was once again encountered. We had been sitting there for sometime already and one of them came over to tell us to fuck off when without warning one of the regulars said 'police' and ran off to grab two of them who had walked off, leaving me and my squadmate to guard the remaining guys. In that split second it was practically a helpless situation with the two of us facing around 6 of them. Thankfully they decided not to resist. The two regulars returned dragging two of the gang members back and dumped them on the bench before proceeding to interrogate them on what they were doing in the area and getting their identification for screening and recording. Apparently they had come from CCK all the way to Clementi to find some guy from a rival gang but their cursed luck had landed them with us instead which was pretty amusing because they had thought we were part of another group.
Ok i really have to hand it to the two regular officers i was with and the way they handle everything. These guys have been through all the shit, breaking down secret societies and getting into the thick of it. They knew every gang member in Clementi and every one knew the both of them which was why these guys didn't recognize us in plainclothes because they were from another territory. What i found incredible was the fact that while we were interrogating them so obviously, people around the area were walking through our paths like nothing was happening, completely and blissfully oblivious to what was happening. I had small kids and old ah peks walking past indifferently. The ones that did notice could only sit eating their hamburgers and watch what was happening like some drama serial. The very sad thing about it was that i realized people are so fuckin ignorant about what is actually happening around them so much so that sometimes they take it completely for granted that nothing will happen to them and that Singapore is such a safe and carefree place. It is, but it doesn't mean that nothing will happen. The two regulars i was with were part of a generation of police officers who had to fight for their lives to keep their loved ones safe, they themselves had gotta beaten up, some in uniform even, by gangs. It is sad that they are really unsung heroes and underappreciated for what they have done because they've done more than anyone will ever know and will continue to do so quietly.
Later on they told us that the most important thing was to keep a confident front because a slight lapse in appearance would start a leak and invite them to think we were weak. The tattoo design they had could also identify where they were from. Frankly speaking though most of the members could easily be handled but the fear of the fact that they could suddenly unveil a knife and make a stab was the main concern. Fortunately they had no weapons on them (or unfortunately because then we couldn't arrest them for possession of an offensive weapon) and we could notice a few of them with their hands shaking desperate for a cigarette to soothe their nerves. Their "boss", which we later on met while patrolling, was a huge guy who apparently works as a bouncer at MS. The good thing is the two guys i was with were pretty damned big themselves.
That's it in brief. It was a complete whirlwind of events and i cannot remember it scene by scene. Maybe i shouldn't even be blogging about this at all, its my first time actually witnessing something like this so close, but i just wanted to make it known that there are some officers out there who are incredibly competant and capable guys and that people take the damn police for granted and treat them like maids and slaves. To these people who continue to think this way i would like to say you should burn painfully in hell.
I think i'll leave the other event that happened for another time perhaps. Right now i need to get some sleep.
Thursday, January 01, 2004
Well looking back at the year past, i'd have to say that generally it was one heck of a horrible year for me. Being unable to walk normally for half of the damn year would probably add quite a bit to the reason for that. Finally though, after so many months, it feels damned good to finally be free of that camp life. I can't believe i had to go through all that shit to be able to sit here. Hardly anyone recognized the fuckin suffering in camp, and that was really depressing. I still can't believe i agreed to do so many stupid things a guy in crutches shouldn't be doing. Going to pulau ubin on crutches, moving around the academy in crutches like i had wheels or something. Why the hell did i put myself through it? Nobody seemed to give a damn, they thought all the stuff i did was effortless, like i didn't have to endure every shockwave of pain just from getting from place to place. After a while they just let me be, like i didn't need any damn help. But thinking back on it, its good because i can say that i got over it on my own. Maybe not completely on my own, but mostly. I'd like to thank those that bothered to give a damn because they're the few who realized the torment. I remember there was a certain category of people who were just plain ignorant, every time they'd continually ask me "so you going for this tomorrow?" or "hey long time no see/talk, what've you been up to?". Like how many fuckin times do i have to tell you that i am stuck home with a broken leg. But its always good to know and finally see who are the ones who really give a damn about you when you're down and out. Its reassuring to see the friends who do and majorly disheartening to see the friends you thought would.
Isn't it funny though how a single day separates two entire years, what gives that day such grand significance to clearly define one year from the next? Oh yeah in the cosmic view of things its the revolution of the earth around the sun and all, but figuratively speaking, why do we wait for an entire year to pass to make resolutions and changes? Aren't we all just fantastic procrastinators for doing so? Ah well. Admittedly, i am one of those.
Spent the eve of New Year's and the morning thereafter mostly chilling out at some cafe someplace at Arab Street. Initially i had wanted to spend the night like every New Year's nights, sleeping at home or watching tv. But as usual, last minute decisions drag me out of the house and into someplace making me regret leaving the house at first, but as usual, it turns out to be a pretty good night in the end.
So many things i wish i could've done differently, so many people i wish i could've spoken to better, but its all last year. Have a fulfilling year ahead folks.
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