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Solace of the Shadows
Sunday, September 19, 2004
And finally, one of my major "projects" has been completed. I still have a few more to go though. A huge one right at the very end of this friggin NS stint to culminate the entire thing too, sometime in January. Geez, they really don't give you much time to rest. I've realized that i'm not a very good group worker and i tend to work better alone because i'm always adamant about carrying out ideas i propose and i'm not too receptive whenever others want to change it. But admittedly the help on this one was welcome and i know i gave the due credit in return. It felt really weird to go back to RJ again, even more so because i was organizing something in the school. Seeing the entire RJ canteen flooded with students on a Saturday studying with the ferocity of a rabid bull while maintaining a piercing silence, subsequently being broken by the invasion of an entire troop of guys from my station creating havoc and wreaking the poor students concentration, brought a smile to my face in quiet satisfaction. Ironically, i'd miss the school when it shifts to Bishan.
Life segments itself into phases. If you don't mark it out, circumstances and a string of incidents will do it for you. Places, memories and friends fleet and flicker with such transcience that it can be quite troubling at times. We move from one shell to the next bigger one whenever we grow according to time. And after we've shed all physical contact we're only left with whatever obscure and faded images of the previous phase, but we become too caught up and involved with the current one to bother much anyway. So what the hell can we do to prevent it.
I think i'm too damned absentminded for my own good sometimes. One clear example today while i went for a Sunday swim at the pool. I saw someone whom i recognized waving to me to say hi. So i wave back before proceeding to swim. Later on i see him again, thinking in my head he was this particular person.
him : hey how have you been? how come you're swimming here?
me : i'm alrite. i live nearby. so...when do you ORD man?
him : eh i ORDed long time ago. This is already my 3rd year. You? still in army?
me (greatly confused, now thinking i'm talking to a stranger) : eh?? oh..nah i'm in police. ORD next year
i stop talking to him, change and manage a curt goodbye wave before quickly making my way off. later on, while walking home, i realized i had been talking to someone else i knew whom i had mistaken for. Both were polo players though. OK it may seem really insignificant but i hadn't spoken to the guy in years and this was the first time.
I think that ranked somewhere in the top ten dumbest moments.
Among all the constant change there is one real constant arising from all of this. Thank you Fatin, for being there every single time. There's alot of stuff i'd like to say but i'll save it for future posts. haha. You are one thing in my life i absolutely do not want changed.
Yes, cringe all you want folks. Have a good week ahead.
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