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Solace of the Shadows
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Today was a pretty awesome Eid. First time i've done so much visiting/entertaining in a single day i think we pretty much covered everyone there is in my small family network.
We got to catch up with my dad's relatives whom i really like because they are truly good and honest folk who make me wanna embrace my Pakistani roots with greater conviction haha. Plus my Grandma is an incredibly nice person. Hasn't changed since i was a kid.
Got stuffed with tons of food from my Grandma who makes delicious chapati and sugi. After today (like almost every other occasion i visit my dad's relatives) i feel the motivation to achieve something somehow sometime soon.
And to top it all off, on the way home in the car, we got to see my dad totally fuck this ah beng left right and centre for showing the middle finger and trying to act guailan. My dad tried to get him to pull over for several km but the dumbass ah beng had no balls to, thereafter he eventually slowed down and took an exit from the main road. Pity, was so hoping for him to face off with us. Can't blame him, when my dad's pissed, people tend to pee in their pants. Was great entertainment.
Well, the end of fasting month. I gotta say i managed to fast quite a bit. And i'd definitely appreciate being able to eat during lunchtime. Although i'm glad i don't have to feel sick everytime i break fast and stuff myself for no good reason. Fatin can testify to that.
That was a whole load of random stuff. I had a good weekend. Enjoy your holidays folks!
p.s. Fatin : *muah
Haha! Don't hate me peeps.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
The past two days of competition have left me an overwhelming mass of thoughts. Before i parted, my coach left me with some words which compounded the already convulated mess, and simply left me pondering so much so that i am overflowing with things to say, but i shall reserve that for just one person to seek advice from.
Just these few days away from the office have completely severed and detached me from all the insignificant and utter crap that goes on in my sorry excuse of a "workplace" and made me think of what really matters to me, what i really want to do, what i know will produce the tangible. Wasting my time doing something which means nothing to me, slaving for something which provides nil returns. Merely blinding and hindering me from what i've been hungering to fulfill.
My coach said, if i throw it all away now, i would have wasted a good 3-4 years of my life pursuing something i have yet to achieve. I have yet to see how far i can test myself, and i haven't even made a credible attempt to do so. So little of this matters to anyone else but myself and a handful of others who fully understand.
The change cannot occur immediately, but i will do what i can to ensure that it happens, that i make at least one attempt, because there's no better time than now, even if no one else but the ones i care about see it the way i do. Who gives a damn. I owe it to myself and to the ones i know will be by my side.
But i know words are meaningless unless one starts to take action. Until then.
Thank you dear, for being there for me.
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