|
|
|
Solace of the Shadows
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Hate it when sometimes i hinder myself from completing a task simply because i dread the possibility of an unfavourable outcome. Like, for example, making an important phone call to get something fixed and procrastinating from doing it only because you don't want to hear something bad. You only want to hear what you want to hear, but you know the possibility of hearing the stuff you don't want is there. Am i making any sense?
And that pretty much stops me from doing alot of things, most of them being quite critical at that point in time. Which, after some afterthought, really has to stop repeating itself. Why let something like that prevent you from even attempting to do it? Undeniably, the possibility of the adverse happening will always be present. Ultimately though, it boils down to inducement of self-fear. The only thing obstructing you is the sense of dread welling up, spawning the thought of the unwanted outcome, rather than focusing on trying to achieve the desired one.
Amazing, how i wasted several hours doing absolutely NOTHING, when i could have forced myself to sit down and type the necessary in the span of a mere 20 minutes, had i not thrown away the time in between trying to coerce myself into doing so.
Mindless rambling. The mind can be so weak sometimes. Why let that side take over. Take control.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Suddenly there seems to be a vacuum of space where once things were sprawled all around you and you felt like there was never enough time to do the things you really wanted to do. And now, like a freight train slamming its brakes, you find the slate wiped practically clean, very much abruptly.
At the beginning, it felt like being imprisoned within four walls, completely severing everything else around you, forcing you to work and make the most within those boundaries which now restricted you from venturing any further.
At this stage of NS now, it feels like the four walls have been removed, and suddenly everything comes back into perspective. After what seems like eternity, you're able to see whats beyond those walls, taking in all this sight and splendour so deprived. And yet, you find you cannot wander from your position where the four walls once lay to venture forth and experience these things. Why? Because you remain chained to the same position by a single and final lock preventing your escape. You need the key to unlock these shackles which frustratingly bind you from tasting sweet freedom on your lips. And in this case, what is this precious key?
A friggin PINK I.C.
Granted though, i've been finally able to do several things i haven't been doing in an achingly long time. They may be few now, but i'm sure the list will grow in time, time which will expire itself. Swimming is one of them. I'm grateful for the fact that i'm still able to after having broken my leg almost 2 years ago. Besides that, i've been digging out my old CDs and rediscovering all the music which i had grown to embrace with much fervour. I can't scarcely believe how much of its knowledge and impact i've lost from it. Bands like Summoning and Without Grief, Dimension Zero, Bolt Thrower, Ebony Tears, Dead Silent Slumber, Amorphis, Dream Theater, Ablaze my Sorrow have almost faded into obscurity, in memory. It has been ages since i first heard those sounds which sought to forge an intricately weaved epic tapestry of harmonic riffs and purposeful dissonance. The idiosyncracies of metal. Like picking up a chest, covered deep in sand.
It feels good to be intoxicated with the scent of the familiar.
And to that someone, thank you for spending time even though you could be dealing with other more important matters (i.e. school). I hope i do not interfere too much bleh.
Well, enjoy the week ahead folks. And please take a listen to these few tunes of the old & new.
Mastodon - Blood & Thunder
Dream Theater - Another Day
Bolt Thrower - No Guts No Glory
Dimension Zero - Through the Virgin Skies
Summoning - Long Lost to Where No Pathway Goes
Opeth - Black Rose Immortal
|
|
|
|
|
