|
|
|
Solace of the Shadows
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
One thing that makes me feel utterly utterly vulnerable is when i fall prey to horrific illness. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it attacks with no remorse for some reason. And lying bed-ridden for what seemed like ages, writhing in helplessness and unable to comfortably fall asleep, it gave me (as it always does) an excess of time to think about alot of things.
Firstly, I wouldn't want to see anyone, family or friends, go through such a horrific ordeal. The next worst thing to experiencing it yourself is probably to see someone you care about go through it too. Which brings me to my second point, very few people actually give a flying shit about you when you're sick. When you're all happy and alive, hanging out and having fun is easy. But when you're gasping for decent breaths of air before your throat starts stinging from trying to swallow repeatedly, then i guess its a different story eh.
Well granted there's little that anyone can do anyway. Most of it is like some huge personal battle. If there is one small shred of good to be gained from this, its probably a sense of purging all those material and meaningless thoughts from your head and all things which really don't matter. One moment you can literally be feeling unstoppable training everyday getting stronger and stronger and the next moment some microscopic virus puts you're right below where you started. Its pretty amazing. Makes the mind and body seem more detached than ever. Seeing yourself physically helpless as if you're somehow trapped in a cage and the cage is your own skin.
Then again, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger doesn't it? Damned right.
Mindless and wayward rambling, much like the past few days. Take care folks and may you be well.
|
|
|
|
|
